A few days back Supreme Court gave a verdict that a man can file for divorce if his wife is trying to separate him from his parents.
There was uproar amongst people and it was very evident on all social media platforms, college discussions, gossip sessions and the fire spread! But, apart from all the married couples, the group that acted most excitedly is the one wearing the famous – “feminist” pants. Now, these people are of the kind who preach, teach and propagate feminism. The way they lure you and many others into thinking how this world is male dominant and the people are chauvinists is quite fascinating.
The sword hung over the heads of jurists and the critique bashed the judged for the decision. Over here, the moot point of argument was – if a female is by default, expected to leave her family and adjust with a man’s family; why is it necessary for the man to live with his parents?
Most of you would think that the point is somewhat valid because aren’t we seeing so many old people living alone in India and much more in the western countries. Also, the society has evolved to accommodate to the idea of old age homes or retirement homes. And thus, if the wife feels that the in-laws are creating hassles for her, she can ask her husband to find an alternative; pretty modern and practical.
Now, think of the flipside – two old people and sometimes just one; various health problems, security, daily sustenance, household chores, buying groceries, money matters and all the countless things that each and every adult deals with. Even though our society has progressed, we haven’t reached the stage where our parents, especially when some are illiterate as well, can handle such things when they blow candles on their 75th birthday.
Also, our traditions and societal norms lay down that it’s the son’s duty to take care of his parents because the daughter eventually has to live with another family. Right from Manu to the Vedas, Puranas and the recent commentaries, the duty of a son hasn’t changed.
The modern outlook is acceptable but, in the name of modernization and practicality, one cannot ignore the fact that the people in question are your husband’s parents.
It isn’t just the wife who should try and adjust the in-laws; especially when staying in the same home, should try and accommodate.
Honestly, the system of joint families worked pretty well for our ancestors and there’s a reason why it still exists. Why burn down a mill only to spin a modern sweater?